1 00:00:03,703 --> 00:00:06,938 Okay, mr. Krebs... Uh, bingo. 2 00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:10,120 Okay. Bingo. 3 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,488 You want to tell me Exactly what happened? 4 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,890 Well, I was at my usual corner, 5 00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:17,160 Riding a unicycle Around in circles 6 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:20,130 And balancing a Custard pie on a stick? 7 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,065 Juggling a couple of bananas 8 00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:24,034 When this guy comes Up to me and he says, 9 00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:27,103 "Hey, bozo. You got the time?" 10 00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:30,295 - uh-huh. - I said to him, "Sure!" 11 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,776 Next thing I know, I'm Sprawled out on the sidewalk 12 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:34,944 And he's halfway down the street 13 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,779 With my thank-you dish. 14 00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:39,816 Got away with nearly 50 bucks. 15 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,806 I see. 16 00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:47,390 Hey! How come you Didn't chase after him 17 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:48,780 In your little car? 18 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,129 Come on, you know, the one With you and all the other clowns 19 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:54,830 Kind of crammed inside? 20 00:00:56,956 --> 00:00:58,601 I don't drive. 21 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,425 Oh. 22 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,243 Pretty quiet. It's After midnight. 23 00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,601 Yeah. It sure is. 24 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,542 What are you working on? 25 00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,390 Crime statistics. 26 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,757 You need any help? 27 00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:23,693 No, thanks. I got it. 28 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,650 What are you doing? 29 00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,765 Looking for some Leads on those, uh... 30 00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:31,323 Warehouse break-ins. 31 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,327 Sounds real interesting. 32 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,830 It's very exciting. 33 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:49,040 Want to call luger? And hang up? 34 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,077 - let me think about it. - all right. 35 00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:57,048 Oh, uh, barney? 36 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:02,632 William krebs, a.K.A. Bingo. 37 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,435 What's happening with the world? 38 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,603 I'm not sure, mr. Krebs. 39 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,772 He was, um, he was mugged 40 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,042 While entertaining a Crowd of moviegoers 41 00:02:12,066 --> 00:02:15,811 Outside the tivoli Theater over on houston. 42 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:18,481 Sounds like our man, huh? 43 00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:20,049 What man? 44 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:23,887 I'm afraid you were the Third clown to be assaulted 45 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:26,055 In this precinct in The last two weeks. 46 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:29,493 I didn't have the Heart to say it. 47 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,895 Uh, well... 48 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:36,465 They also got a Mime and a juggler, 49 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,434 Couple of one-man bands. 50 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,937 You mean there's some guy Running around out there 51 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,772 Who only picks On people like me? 52 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,340 I'm afraid so. 53 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:50,035 Everybody loves A clown... Right? 54 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,472 Right? 55 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,321 Show him the mug books. 56 00:02:58,345 --> 00:02:59,678 Barn? 57 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:04,493 Got a disturbance in a Cafeteria over on christopher. 58 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,029 You and dietrich. 59 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,564 - hey, dietrich. - hmm. 60 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,922 - we got a call. - oh, boy. 61 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,770 Midnight mail call. 62 00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:16,606 Shh! 63 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,608 It wasn't gonna walk up. 64 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,376 I like your outfit. 65 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,012 Yeah, right. 66 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,313 Uh, got it. 67 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:26,949 Uh, barney, looks like we Got a wild party in progress 68 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,753 Over at the greenwich hotel, You know, booze and hookers. 69 00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:31,888 Take levitt. 70 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,878 Oh, thank you, sir. 71 00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:38,361 A problem, gentlemen? 72 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,852 Well, harris gets the Party and the clown. 73 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,133 Get outta here. 74 00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:46,037 It's all right. We'll call luger. 75 00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:00,876 Is this coffee just for cops? 76 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,078 Help yourself. 77 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,580 Thanks. 78 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,717 I suppose you're wondering How I became a clown. 79 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,151 Uh, actually, I... 80 00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:11,654 Believe it or not, I used To be a claims adjuster 81 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:12,888 For an insurance company. 82 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:15,592 Week in and week Out filling out forms, 83 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:18,228 Measuring dents, Having to talk with people 84 00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:21,197 Who were basically Very unhappy, just like me. 85 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:23,767 I can imagine. 86 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:26,036 And then one morning, I woke up. 87 00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:29,239 I quit my job. I left my Wife and my three kids. 88 00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:30,739 And I became this... 89 00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:33,977 Bingo, the clown who Brings joy and laughter 90 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,647 To a world hungry for both. 91 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,549 On behalf of the Entire planet, thank you. 92 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:46,990 Okay, mr. Landry, Right this way, please. 93 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,926 I hope you guys realize You have ruined my party. 94 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:53,630 Oh, that's okay. You Can cry if you want to. 95 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:56,365 You would cry, too, If it happened to you. 96 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,668 I got the album. 97 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,759 What album? 98 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,008 Uh, sir, this is Mr. Andrew landry. 99 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,309 Charges include Disturbing the peace, 100 00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,278 Destruction of private property, 101 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,247 And solicitation Of prostitution. 102 00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,817 Why, you must be barney. 103 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,974 I heard a lot about You in the car. 104 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,489 What happened? 105 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:22,792 Well, when we got to the Hotel, uh, the night clerk 106 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:26,462 Led us directly to, uh, Mr. Landry's hospitality suite. 107 00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,530 Well, we found old landry, here. 108 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,266 He was hosting a stag film, 109 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:33,970 While, uh, assorted trollops Served cocktails to the guests 110 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:37,873 And, um, the food fight just Raged on in the master bedroom. 111 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,209 Apparently the first Pizza roll was hurled 112 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,711 When the boys from bed-stuy Accused manhattan south 113 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,313 Of being a pansy precinct. 114 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:45,981 There were cops there? 115 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:49,918 Yeah, about 30 of them, Including, uh, these two. 116 00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:53,356 Well, barn, you see, Um, uh, mr. Landry here... 117 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:56,492 He's, uh, in town representing The burgeoning metropolis 118 00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,494 Of mesa city, new mexico. 119 00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:02,432 He's, um, he's trying to find Himself a police department. 120 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,167 A police recruiter, sir. 121 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,534 Thank you, levitt. 122 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:08,737 I'm sorry if things got a Little out of hand, captain, 123 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,807 But you know how cops Get after a couple of drinks. 124 00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:13,409 No, I don't. 125 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,510 Oh. 126 00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:17,012 Well, then maybe You'd like to sit down 127 00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,615 And have a chat Over a cup of coffee. 128 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:21,317 Mr. Landry, you don't... 129 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:22,985 You see, captain, mesa city 130 00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:25,522 Is not just on the Lookout for patrolmen. 131 00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,257 Mr. Landry... 132 00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:31,294 We also have several High-paying positions of leadership 133 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:34,486 Available for men In command positions. 134 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:37,867 Book him. 135 00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,235 Whoo! 136 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:41,637 Uh, mr. Landry. 137 00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,573 I like him. 138 00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:46,642 Oh, no. He's... He's spoken for. 139 00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,710 - oh? - yeah. 140 00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,778 You want to just, uh... 141 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:52,737 But, now, he's available. 142 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:05,995 Now, the thing is, sergeant, Mesa city offers a unique blend 143 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,597 Of social and Cultural opportunities 144 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:11,800 That is tailor-made for The young man on the go. 145 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,670 Hmm. And you're Going in the cage. 146 00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:16,840 I mean, we have Our own symphony, 147 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,375 The jubilee dinner Theater and ballet, 148 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:22,511 Several prominent Art galleries, a rodeo. 149 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,948 Oh, yahoo. 150 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,349 Inside. 151 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:30,386 But, uh, but on a more Personal note, sergeant, 152 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,720 As a minority member, 153 00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:35,324 Your opportunities in regard To community leadership 154 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,194 And rapid advancement Within the department 155 00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:41,197 Are virtually limitless. 156 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,966 So I'd be it, huh? 157 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:46,769 Well, I'll have to check that. 158 00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,693 Mm-hmm. 159 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,810 Sir, you wanted to see me? 160 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,779 Uh, yes, levitt. Come in. Come in. 161 00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,481 Sit down. 162 00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,349 Sit down, sir? 163 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,218 Yeah. 164 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,175 Thank you. 165 00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,925 It's my mother, isn't it? Huh? 166 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,327 My deaf sister. 167 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,929 Levitt, levitt, take It easy. Take it easy. 168 00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:17,433 It's just about The medal of valor. 169 00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:19,235 Oh? 170 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:22,238 Yeah, I, uh, I opened the mail. 171 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,840 I came across this letter From the citation board. 172 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:29,012 Was the, uh, medal Enclosed, sir? 173 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,614 You're not getting The medal, carl. 174 00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,283 They turned you down. 175 00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:35,818 Didn't you tell them I Saved the life of a small boy 176 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,620 At considerable risk to my own? 177 00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,322 Well aware of that. 178 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,190 Oh. 179 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:44,293 Well, then, did they Offer a particular reason, 180 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:47,196 Or are they just Kissing me off for kicks? 181 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,333 I'll read you exactly What they wrote. 182 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,635 "Board acknowledges That the actions 183 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:55,771 "Taken by officer carl Levitt on november 12, 1981, 184 00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,340 "Were noteworthy, 185 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,775 "Well in keeping with the High level of excellence 186 00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:03,212 "Maintained by the new York city police department. 187 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:06,737 However, request denied." 188 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:11,220 Well, that Certainly explains it. 189 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,789 Wojo: get inside. Get inside. Get inside. 190 00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,357 Shut your mouth. 191 00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:18,594 Hey, a clown. Is he for us? 192 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,653 Stick with your party. 193 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,235 What with my nebulous Status to begin with, and now... 194 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,803 Excuse me. 195 00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:30,873 Uh, there's something out here I think you should know about. 196 00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:31,874 Excuse me, levitt. 197 00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,375 It's okay, sir. 198 00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:36,968 I'll just sit here quietly and Maintain my level of excellence. 199 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,450 All right, what do we got? 200 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:43,519 Gilbert doyle, edward Crenshaw, and vincent royer. 201 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,955 Your boys didn't even Let us finish our dinner. 202 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,022 Me too. 203 00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:50,826 Barn, when we got To the cafeteria, 204 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:53,696 There was about 20 of These creeps going crazy 205 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,865 In the food line, Stealing trays, 206 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,534 Not paying for them, Tipping over tables, 207 00:10:58,558 --> 00:10:59,869 Pushing people around. 208 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,438 Hey, we were celebrating. 209 00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:04,707 What were you celebrating? 210 00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:06,709 We just got out of jail. 211 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,310 Today? Tonight. 212 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,979 Tonight? 213 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,280 An hour ago. 214 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,417 It's 2:00 in the morning. 215 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:17,386 They woke me up. 216 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,822 Uh, barney, there's An assault in progress 217 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,991 At the magnolia Theater over on 3rd. 218 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,326 That's mr. Jingles' corner. 219 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,061 All right. You and, uh... 220 00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:28,431 I'll go, sir. Thank you, levitt. 221 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,466 And when I get back, you can Begin to process my resignation. 222 00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:33,202 I'm quite sure They'll approve that. 223 00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,336 Landry: uh, excuse me. 224 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,671 Okay, cowboy, you got a deal. 225 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,806 Great. 226 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:40,031 Levitt. Levitt! 227 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,015 All right, let's Get on with this. 228 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,551 What's with these guys? 229 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:49,585 What's with levitt? 230 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:50,619 Wojo. 231 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:53,021 Barn, you must Have done something. 232 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,691 I didn't do anything! 233 00:11:57,617 --> 00:11:59,462 They turned down his medal. 234 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:00,829 Oh, you're kidding. 235 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:02,698 What medal? 236 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,900 Can we get on with this, please? 237 00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,435 Yeah, sure. Okay. 238 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:09,638 According to these guys, they Were all doing time at rikers 239 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,473 Until about midnight tonight, 240 00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:14,043 When the guards came up and Told them to pack their gear. 241 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,511 The buses were waiting. 242 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:16,712 It was really weird. 243 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,547 I mean, I'm relaxing in my cell, 244 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,916 Fighting with this dope Dealer over my blanket. 245 00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:23,185 Next thing I know, boom, I'm being piled in a bus 246 00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:24,187 With 100 other cons. 247 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,488 They dumped us on wall street. 248 00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:28,424 It was madison, fruit ball. 249 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,625 Oh. 250 00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:32,428 I saw a wall. 251 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,963 That's when a bunch of them 252 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,898 Decided to Celebrate bastille day 253 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,566 By wrecking the cafeteria. 254 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,068 When we got there, They all scattered. 255 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,836 These were the only Three we could grab. 256 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,705 Yeah, lucky us. 257 00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:48,010 All right, let's start Processing them. 258 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:50,012 Dietrich, get on To rikers island. 259 00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:52,215 See if you can find Out what's happening. 260 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,715 Right. Vinny, come on. 261 00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:56,585 Does this mean I have To finish my sentence? 262 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,720 Hey, man, shut up. 263 00:12:58,744 --> 00:12:59,822 Your what? 264 00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:01,490 Well, I could be wrong, 265 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:05,061 But according to my Calendar, I should still be in jail. 266 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,351 Me too. 267 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,100 Really? 268 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,237 Well, I had only about Three months to go. 269 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,237 Dietrich. 270 00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:16,672 I'm on it, barn. 271 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:17,940 All right, woj. 272 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,909 All right, get over to the Desk. Put out your valuables. 273 00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:22,578 We know the procedure. 274 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:26,182 Then get on it. 275 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:27,917 Barn? 276 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,986 Uh, this thing with levitt. 277 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,154 Oh, wojo, please. Not now. 278 00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,990 Okay, then who is this guy? 279 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:36,125 Andrew landry, Land of enchantment. 280 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:40,318 You, uh... You like turquoise? 281 00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,722 Excuse me. 282 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,107 So then, around '65, I Couldn't make up my mind 283 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:54,043 Whether I wanted to go Straight into med school 284 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:57,713 Or work in a hospital first, Get some practical experience. 285 00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,081 Uh-huh. 286 00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:02,540 So I robbed a shoe Store and bought drugs. 287 00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:06,244 Yeah. That's great. 288 00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:19,035 Uh, got statements From doyle and crenshaw, 289 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,503 Slapped them in the cage. 290 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,105 I put in that call to rikers. 291 00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:24,406 The guy should be Coming down soon. 292 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,063 All right. 293 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,314 Something else? 294 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,349 Yeah, well... Yeah, well... 295 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:37,353 Thinking about, uh, levitt... The medal and all that. 296 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,477 Yeah. 297 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,992 It's all politics, isn't it? 298 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:46,328 Yeah, that's what it is. 299 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,752 You think he's gonna quit? 300 00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:54,436 I don't know. 301 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,894 How about that Libyan hit team, huh? 302 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,699 I'm just trying to Lighten things up. 303 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,160 Can I help you? 304 00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:20,596 Uh, gordon kaiser, new york City department of corrections. 305 00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:23,832 Did you call me? 306 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:24,833 I did. 307 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,635 I'm sergeant dietrich. 308 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:27,770 Sergeant, gordon kaiser, 309 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,705 New york city department Of corrections. 310 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,507 Right. You know Any of these guys? 311 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,975 Well, let's take a look. 312 00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:37,146 Well, you know, I really Can't be sure. I just woke up. 313 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,548 Hold on. I'll get the captain. 314 00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:42,105 Hi, mr. Kaiser. 315 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,027 What the hell are You doing in there? 316 00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:52,594 Wrecked a restaurant. 317 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,529 What? It happens. 318 00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:56,598 But you promised Me you'd be good. 319 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,600 You'd get on a Bus and disappear. 320 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,035 Aw, how about that? 321 00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:01,570 Mr. Kaiser, I'm captain miller. 322 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,472 Captain miller, it's a pleasure. 323 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,474 Well, what seems To be the problem? 324 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,143 Well, according To these gentlemen, 325 00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,044 They were yanked Out of jail, put on a bus, 326 00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:10,646 And dumped in the Middle of manhattan. 327 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,681 Ah. Ah. That's true. 328 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,185 That's true, but not Entirely accurate. 329 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:20,311 Uh, could we talk Somewhere in private? 330 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:29,231 Uh, excuse me. Excuse me, sergeants. 331 00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:32,167 You guys haven't even Touched my brochure. 332 00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:35,370 Well, we, uh, we've been busy. 333 00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:38,362 Oh. I read mine! 334 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,910 The point is, captain, 335 00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:44,847 What with rikers being so Hopelessly overcrowded as it is, 336 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:48,150 We decided that it would Be a very innovative concept 337 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,986 To, uh, prune back on our Misdemeanor offenders. 338 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,388 "Prune back"? 339 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:55,290 You know, uh, granting early Releases to purse snatchers, 340 00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:58,160 Second-story men, Petty thieves, et cetera. 341 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,296 And thereby making Valuable cell space available 342 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,599 For the far more despicable And deserving criminals. 343 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,635 If this is such a Great idea, mr. Kaiser, 344 00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:09,238 Why'd you sneak them out In the middle of the night? 345 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,607 Sentimental reasons. 346 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,545 Look, captain... 347 00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,447 Mr. Kaiser, what is It you want of me? 348 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,749 It's no big thing. 349 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:25,454 If you could just see yourself Clear to let those boys go. 350 00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:28,757 Just ignore the charges? 351 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,459 Just forget about the fact 352 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,895 That they practically Destroyed a restaurant? 353 00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:35,464 Okay. 354 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:41,237 Captain, I don't think you Fully appreciate my situation. 355 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:44,673 Now, if this little incident out Here ever leaks to the press, 356 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:47,142 It will not only Prove embarrassing, 357 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:50,145 But may jeopardize an Otherwise very progressive 358 00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:52,214 And successful program. 359 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,838 Are you telling me You've done it before? 360 00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,789 Maybe. 361 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,925 All right, come on, Duncan. Step inside here. 362 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,559 Weren't you in charge last time? 363 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:05,860 Just get in here. 364 00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:08,263 That's him. That's the Guy who robbed me. 365 00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:10,866 Hey, you must be mistaking Me for some other clown. 366 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,302 Clown! 367 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,637 Ooh, sorry. 368 00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,639 Captain, if you could Just, for a moment, 369 00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:18,874 Put yourself in my shoes. 370 00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:20,876 Wrong size, mr. Kaiser. 371 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,876 What? 372 00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:23,712 Uh, barn. 373 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:24,880 Yeah? 374 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,316 You, uh, you remember Arthur duncan here. 375 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,384 Back again, duncan? 376 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:30,785 What was it last time? 377 00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:33,588 Ripping off the salvation Army, wasn't it? Mm-hmm. 378 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:34,756 And before that, uh... 379 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,192 Assaulting the handicapped. 380 00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:38,293 Right. 381 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:42,164 So, you're all looking well. 382 00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,466 What happened? 383 00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,801 Well, when we drove up In front of the theater, 384 00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:49,471 We found arthur here Pinned against the ticket booth 385 00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:52,941 By one mr. Jingles and Woof-woof the wonder dog. 386 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,345 Yeah, a great dane Wearing a derby... 387 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,214 Very funny. 388 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:01,383 So you're up to clowns Now, huh, duncan? 389 00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:03,351 Well, I can't help it. 390 00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:06,655 My... My father never Took me to the circus. 391 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:09,658 Well, maybe it Was the boat show. 392 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:10,826 Take his statement. 393 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,662 Uh, circus boy, take a Seat over there, huh? 394 00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,232 Yeah, sure. Right. 395 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:19,501 Sir, if you won't be needing Me for anything else. Levitt. 396 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,804 Officer levitt, if you'd Like to get the ball rolling, 397 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,539 You can fill out The job application. 398 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:24,873 Landry, will you just shut up?! 399 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:25,974 Um, captain. 400 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,776 Not now, mr. Kaiser, please! 401 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,679 Sir, sir, I don't mind. I Got some paperwork. 402 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:31,680 Pencil okay? 403 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,971 Landry: fine. 404 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,919 As I was about to say, captain, I just spoke to the boys. 405 00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:39,888 Now, they've given Me every assurance 406 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,724 That if you release Them in my custody, 407 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,761 They promise to Straighten up and fly right. 408 00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:48,164 Barney, I just Checked out the boys. 409 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,665 Two of them, royer and doyle... 410 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,433 They're both Short-time burglars. 411 00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:52,935 This guy on the left, crenshaw, 412 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,903 Knocked off a brink's Truck a month ago. 413 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,405 He's doing 10 years. 414 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,339 What? 415 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,407 Really? 416 00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,499 Yeah, I just got in line. 417 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:07,549 Well, that is a turn of events, 418 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:11,252 But I see no reason why One slight little oversight 419 00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:14,778 Should deter you from Releasing the other fine men. 420 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,794 Sure, why not? 421 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,629 Wojo, turn them loose. 422 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,998 Who? 423 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,799 All of them. 424 00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:26,201 All of... 425 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,503 All of them! Come On! Turn them loose! 426 00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:31,373 You too, mr. Duncan. You're free to go. 427 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,242 Why not? Why not?! 428 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,677 They're gonna be out of here In a couple of days anyway! 429 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:36,878 Let's face it, wojo. 430 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,781 All we're doing up here Is spinning our wheels, 431 00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:42,451 Pretending that what We do means something, 432 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:45,454 And it means nothing! 433 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,189 And why? 434 00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:51,326 Somebody explain Why. Why do we do it? 435 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:54,463 The respect? 436 00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:58,199 Recognition? 437 00:20:58,223 --> 00:21:02,771 That wonderful feeling Of achievement we get 438 00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:04,773 As we watch a bunch of punks 439 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,276 Laughing their way Through the system? 440 00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:12,914 Sir, if it'll make things any Better around here, I'll stay. 441 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,183 No, levitt, I think You should go. 442 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:17,486 I really do. I think We should all go. 443 00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:20,789 I think we should all just Pack up and get out of here! 444 00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:23,492 Leave this stinking city to Go to hell in a handbasket, 445 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:26,795 Because, let's face It, we're in the way! 446 00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:29,664 Barney, I got Dispatch on the line. 447 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:33,457 About 15 guys just crashed an After-hours club over on 19th. 448 00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:37,794 Really? 449 00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:42,611 Barney, we still here? 450 00:21:46,905 --> 00:21:48,450 Yeah, that's everybody. 451 00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:50,285 All right, we're on our way. 452 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,321 Good for you, barn. 453 00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:55,457 Come on, duncan, Let's go. Get in the cage. 454 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,192 Let's get some cars. 455 00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:58,193 Nice speech, barn. 456 00:21:58,217 --> 00:21:59,628 Harris: come on. Come on. 457 00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:03,565 Sir, you're not getting Rid of me that easy. 458 00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:06,501 I'm gonna go downstairs And grab some uniforms. 459 00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:09,271 Hell in a handbasket? 460 00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:11,061 It's late. 461 00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:15,332 Captain, maybe I better go Down with them just in case. 462 00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:19,748 I'd appreciate that, mr. Kaiser. 463 00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:22,139 I thought you might. 464 00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:44,462 God, you're good. 465 00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:54,082 Thing is, I've already brought so Much happiness and good cheer 466 00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:55,684 To the people of this city, 467 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,019 It occurred to me... 468 00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:59,455 Maybe it's only Fair that I move on 469 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:03,459 And bring my gift of sunshine To other people in other places. 470 00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:06,027 Uh-huh. 471 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,029 Where'd you say you were from? 472 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,219 Baltimore. 473 00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:13,401 Oh. 474 00:23:13,425 --> 00:23:14,535 We're back. 475 00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:17,039 All right, inside, harris. 476 00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:19,007 - hey. - it's habit. 477 00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:20,975 How'd it go? 478 00:23:20,999 --> 00:23:23,612 Was the same crowd From the cafeteria, 479 00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:26,348 So we, uh, busted in, We rounded them up, 480 00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:28,484 And we headed them out. 481 00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:31,753 I read the brochure. 482 00:23:31,777 --> 00:23:34,723 The, um, paddy wagon took Them all over to manhattan south, 483 00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:37,125 And, uh, mr. Kaiser just Went along for the ride. 484 00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:38,460 Fine. 485 00:23:38,484 --> 00:23:40,562 Look, uh, it's almost The end of the shift. 486 00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:44,299 Uh, why don't you guys Run that bunch downtown 487 00:23:44,323 --> 00:23:47,001 And head on home? 488 00:23:47,025 --> 00:23:48,603 All right. 489 00:23:48,627 --> 00:23:51,039 Uh, sir, I'd like To say something 490 00:23:51,063 --> 00:23:53,508 Before we adjourn into the dawn. 491 00:23:53,532 --> 00:23:55,310 Yes, levitt. 492 00:23:55,334 --> 00:23:58,413 Well, it's just, uh, I Think I speak for all of us 493 00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:00,782 When I say that no Matter how tedious 494 00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:05,019 Or frustrating or unrewarding The job may seem at times, 495 00:24:05,043 --> 00:24:07,723 It's the privilege of Serving under an officer 496 00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:09,591 Of your caliber and dedication 497 00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:13,595 That somehow makes the whole Wacky ball of wax worthwhile. 498 00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:16,064 Right, guys? 499 00:24:16,088 --> 00:24:18,867 Yeah, right, levitt. 500 00:24:18,891 --> 00:24:20,602 I got nothing to add. 501 00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:23,827 I couldn't have said It better myself.